5 Things to Make Your Child Behave

Positive reinforcement theory has been around for decades.  As a Behaviour Management Therapist in Pakistan, I am surprised by how underrated positive reinforcement is. I will share 5 things to make your child behave. These are based on positive reinforcement. I often employ it in my class. And the results are phenomenal. But the key is to be patient and to keep going even if it gets frustrating.

I love that this method applies to everyone, not just kids (with or without special needs). So, without further delay, I will share the 5 things to make your child behave. Researchers have tried and tested these, and I have benefitted from them too.

Encouraging Your Child to Behave

Behaviour Management isn’t an instant recipe mix to be used to work its magic overnight. On the contrary, it takes a lot of effort to modify behaviour. But the steps are inexpensive, and you don’t need to buy starter kits to help you. All parents need is a lot of patience.

To make a child behave, do these 5 things:

1. Praise Your Child

Parents and adults are often quick to reprimand. But we don’t often appreciate them when they have done an excellent job. When we praise children for desired behaviour, we encourage them to repeat their performance. For example, your 6-year-old daughter is sharing her toys with her younger brother – something you have secretly desired. Instead of quietly watching them play together, praise your daughter for being thoughtful and caring. This will encourage your daughter, and she will be motivated to repeat this exercise.

By quality time, I don’t mean a child and parent sitting in a room for 3 hours while the dad is constantly conducting business on the phone and the son is entertaining himself. Quality time could be half an hour of a parent’s time playing a game or reading a story to their child. The mother could build a lego model with her daughter. Or families can cook together. The intention is for the child to believe that they are the parent’s sole focus in that period.

3. Reward Good Behaviour

Adults spend so much time and energy policing children, but we must remember that rewards work well. Whenever a child has done something good, rewarding them will encourage the child to repeat it. Remember, rewards are not just toys. It could be anything the child enjoys. Rewards can be tangible (a bar of chocolate) or intangible (appreciation).

4. Appreciate Efforts

Sometimes, kids will feel motivated to do something (desired behaviour). And because they are kids, they might perform the initial steps but cannot complete the entire process/task. Stay calm. Remember to be kind and appreciate the effort that they put in. Use your words to tell them that you are proud they performed x number of steps involved.

5. Don’t Punish Children

Children often misbehave to seek attention because they have been conditioned this way. Adults usually identify and react to the negative aspects. In contrast, desired behaviour often goes unremarked. So, children know if they are naughty, and parents WILL notice and respond. Note: something that puts children or others in danger or is life-threatening should never be ignored.

Conclusion

There is a vast body of research in behaviour modification and positive reinforcement. The things I wrote above are only a few things to do. Parents can read more about positive reinforcement here. Plenty of material is available online that can guide parents.

My key to success in this area is consistency. None of the good things in life happen just because you want them to happen. Parents must remember that conditioning children to behave in a particular way will take time. My only advice to parents is to be patient. It is very easy to quit and go back to the status quo. But staying on course will reap the rewards in the end.

About the Author:

Naila Maroof is a Behaviour Management Therapist at Future Smart Inclusive School. But we call her our little miracle worker. Children love Naila, and she loves them. She is enthusiastic and motivated, but most of all, her compassion makes her successful.